New York's Dives

Reif's Tavern

2007-12-05T10:54:00.001-08:00

Reif's is what some might know as an "Old Man Bar". The typical crowd is regular and a little older than most of the people I hang out with or even really know. That does not subtract one lick of fun from this bar. The first thing that attracted me to this fine establishment is it's distinct pro-Rangers stance. Apparently the owner, god rest his soul, was a tried and true Ranger fan, as am I. Once inside there is plenty to do, with pool and darts, as well as the more modern Buck Hunter and Golden Tee. Hell, on the right night there is even card games going on in the back. Not that I would know anything about that as gambling is expressedly illegal in the City of New York.

Also going very strongly for this spot is the fact that it has a back porch where you can smoke and do whatever else. As is the case with some of the places I frequent, they have decided to forgo the expense and extra work of having a kitchen. This means one super awesome thing, in addition to being able to bring in whatever food you would like, in the summer time you can bring meat and grill.

Jeremy's Ale House

2007-10-09T13:42:00.000-07:00

First off let me apologize for the scarcity of posts, it is not that I am not taking this seriously or anything like that. It has to do with the fact that I created this as a way of killing time at work and recently my time at work has been killed by, well, work. It's not like anyone reads this shit anyway.

Here is the deal, in the name of absolute transperancy. This spot is my favorite bar in all of New York City, I mean ALL of NYC. Honestly, they could have a free bar in the lobby of my building and I would still prefer Jeremy's. Is it an ideal place to meet women? Probably not. Is it a good place to get just absolutely plowed? You're goddam right it is. The best thing about this place is the immense selection of beers (Ranging from Busch and Coors Original to Bass Ale and Hoegaarden) and the liberal attitudes towards overserving. That, coupled with the atmosphere makes this place just about as stereotypical a dive bar as you have ever seen in some bad movie. Bras hanging from the ceilings? Check. Graffiti on the walls? Check. Breakfast beer specials? I should hope so, the places slogan is "Where beer isn't just for breakfast anymore".

The crowd is never bad enough that you would have to wait more than 3 minutes for service and it is comprised mostly of old construction workers, younger construction workers and various groups that have come in for a few after work or a softball game. The bartending crew is awesome and have memories like elephants. If you are cool with them they may even join you for the occasional game of Flip Cup, Beirut is for pussies. Also clutch is the fact that everything in the place is cheap as sin. Part of the reason behind this is that a wise man somewhere down the line (I am guessing Jeremy) decided that, if everything is disposable, that means we don't have to hire a dishwasher. That means, styrofoam plates, plastic bowls, 20 oz. plastic cups and 32 oz. stryofoam cups called "Buckets". And trust me they pass the savings on to you, the loyal consumer. Also, if you are so inclined feel free to examine the ceiling, which is a virtual guest book of softball teams (I am up there twice), Fire houses and other such groupings of rapscallions and hoodlums. The prices, both food and drink, are very low and the food, is, well it's food, filet mignon it ain't but it is as good as you would expect from a place that hands you a paper towel and plastic cutlery.

Pros

- Bartenders seems almost grateful for repeat customers that have a full mouth of teeth.

- Specials and Holiday parties make the cheap every day prices just seem unfair.

- Where else are you going to be able to get a "Big Busch" for only $5.00

- Hehe, I said Big Bush.

- Smoking porch so you can drink and smoke at the same time!

Cons

- Probably half the crowd (wait, make that ex-cons)

- You are not going to impress many dates.

Check out the website in the links section, It shouldn't be too hard to figure out.

PS - I will try to be funnier from now on.

Yogi's

2007-09-27T06:13:00.000-07:00

Much like its' sister bar The Patriot Saloon the crowd in this pace features bizarre mix of hippies, bikers and hipsters. The interior is a wooden walled throwback to the bars that you would see in the movies taking place in the deep south. There are tables and an Arkanoid table in the back, plus a projection screen in case you want to watch the game while listening to country and being regailed with stories about someone's last trip to Sturgis or how kids these days have no respect, but when I served in Korea, I knew how to speak to my elders. Aside from the obvious rulels about conduct there aren't any. As a matter of fact the only rule I know is that it isn't okay to dry hump the wooden bear. And I learned that one the hardway. Also, I don't think I have ever seen a bouncer in this bar.

How does this place treat the old wallet? Let me phrase it like this, the beers are so cheap I am surprised that they don't accept food stamps. Pitcher prices range from 5.50 for a pitcher of PBR to 12.00 for a pitcher of Guiness, so you're regular domestic draft would cost (usually around 6.50-7.00). If you want to know pint prices, you're a pussy. Shots are at the most 5.00, and Wild Turkey is the house drink. If you wanna get plastered this is the place to go.

Pros:

- Scantily clad and friendly bartenders

- Lots of colorful personalities

- 4 Screens that the Bartenders will put whatever you want on, plus most other patrons either don't give a shit what you watch or are too drunk to care.

- Cheap, Cheap, Cheap

- A huge bolster to your self-esteem because, hey, at least you aren't a drunk old man flirting with a girl half your age.

Cons

- Not many available women that you might be interested in, all the cute ones are either employees or with their men. An occasional group of rowdy girls will show and then the place is rockin.

- The looming knowledge that if you keep on drinking the way you have been you are going to end up like half the regulars.

- With drinks this cheap it is easy to get too plowed.

Welcome To My Depravity

2007-09-24T05:32:00.000-07:00

So I had this idea for a while now, and then last night I was discussing bars with a couple of friends and they spurned me in to action. Hear is the story, I frequent dive bars and other assorted watering holes with "character" pretty regularly. There are several reasons behind this. First off, I like the atmosphere, there is just something entertaining about going to a place where you may leave with a black eye or a staph infection, but also plastered. More importantly, the reason I frequent places like these is due to the fact that I live in New York City on a meager social service paycheck, which, if you don't know, is as close to a paycheck mocking you as you can get. So, with bills and rent my drinking is reduced to three main factors with occasional exceptions. These are as follows, A.) Drinking various cheap domestic beers and malt liquors in the comfort of my home, B.) Going to regular bars that my friends happen to be tending bar at and getting a "discount"and C.) the vaunted institution that is the dive bar. So, what is the purpose of this blog? The purpose is two-fold. First off, I would like to share my knowledge of dive bars and let you know where you can get your drunk on for cheap and also what various creature comforts these places offer. Secondly, I am assuming I am not the only one who frequents these places, and if you, my readership (which I assume right now is at 0) have a place to suggest or a review you would like to share, please feel free.

Thanks and cheers, stay tuned.

JJTB

PS: This is not going to be like NYCDRUNKGUY, mostly because I am not a self-important douche who feels the need to brag about what a drunk I am and my (probably fabricated) conquests.